How To Have A Bad Weekend

First, on Friday evening, just as you are settling down with a good book at your favorite local coffee shop, your wife should call and let you know she was just rear-ended. She is fine, but the trunk of the car is textbook crumple zone.

Second, Saturday morning, you should find out that your wife's brother is in the hospital with undiagnosed abdominal pains. After much time spent ferrying various loved ones around, you should find out that he has an inflamed appendix that needs to be removed.

Third, by Saturday evening hospital personnel should inform you that there are no spots available to remove the increasingly-likely-to-burst appendix in the Lower Mainland, and that your brother-in-law is being taken via ambulance to Squamish.

Fourth, his appendix should burst on route to Squamish. His operation, once it finally happens, should have complications that will likely result in a lengthened hospital stay.

Fifth, you should get up early Sunday morning and drive to Squamish with your wife, your brother-in-law's wife and your 16 month old nephew, complete with luggage and stroller in your operational but trunkless car. If at all possible, the nephew should throw a temper tantrum that lasts from North Vancouver until you reach the hospital.

Six, you should come home and go out for a well-deserved beer. You should make sure to have the mussels, as you can then throw them up a few hours later.

Seven, post to your weblog, and use this as an excuse for not having illuminares pictures this year. Comfort self that your excuse is at least much better than Stewart's

Posted by Bill Stilwell at July 26, 2004 01:40 PM